My dreams of Crystal Palace

Each week, Five Year Plan fanzine editor JAMES DALY takes a wry look at life on and off the field at Palace.

I had a dream this week that I was at Selhurst watching Palace play and all my teeth fell out.

Not an uncommon theme; losing teeth is a sign of stress and something lots of people are affected by.

And suffering through the Eagles’ games this season, it’s not unsurprising we are all a little frayed at the moment.

But this dream pales into insignificance compared to one I had a few years ago when Palace were floating around the top of the Championship, trying to return to the promised land that is the Premier League.

I was walking up the Holmesdale Road towards Selhurst Park, just like any other match day, except there was no-one around.

I was filled with the excitement that usually precedes a match day, but after a while of walking I realised I wasn’t getting any closer to the stadium.

Like a rainbow, it just kept sitting on the horizon, teasing me.

I began to run, but the ground got no closer.

As I hit top speed I realised I was no longer running but instead, I was flying.

The ground had disappeared from beneath my feet and I was no longer James Daly. I was Pete the Eagle, Palace’s mascot.

How I was managing to keep the head from falling off is a wonder.

Suddenly I fell and dropped and I was plummeting towards the ground – towards Selhurst.

I prepared myself to crash straight into the Main Stand but it turned into a swimming pool and I splashed into the water.

I resurfaced and realised I was in a jacuzzi with the Palace squad. The manager at the time, Iain Dowie, was sipping champagne and wearing a fedora.

I had no time to relax, though, as the water began to swirl and I was sucked out through the plug and sent shooting at break neck speed through a drain pipe, before finally being spat out into the centre circle of the pitch.

It was then that I woke up. What on earth could it have meant? That supporting Palace is a downward journey, full of back-breaking twists and turns? Either that or I need to stop eating cheese before bed.